"Sharelot's Web, Incorporated"
As I rolled over and pulled the pillow toward my head, bent on locking out the rigors of early morning sight and sound, I saw it: a spider web.
Then to my amazement, what should appear? Naturally, a spider - but what the hell was this spider carrying? It looked like a carpetbag,
an honest-to-goodness microminiature carpetbag! (John Gilbraith where are you? I understand!)
Realizing that I was staring intently in its (his? her?) direction, the spider suddenly stopped and looked up at me.
"Good morning, sir," came a sharp, but polite greeting. Unnerved, I could only mumble, "Aaah, hello."
"You're surprised that I speak," the spider knowingly and confidently responded.
As I watched, the spider gingerly walked over to the bed, picked up one corner of the web and began traversing the span to the wall.
In his hand (?) was the corner of the web. My God, he was folding up the web! As I reached for my senses, the spider reached the nightstand.
He perched himself upon the corner and stuffed the web into the bag that he carried....
He closed the bag, sat back, and looked up at me. "Nice?", he said with a smile. "Nice," I replied. "But what the hell are you... doing?"
"I am a representative of Sharelots Web, Incorporated," he responded enthusiastically....
(Full article xxpdf)
"Weebles Wobble, but They Don't Fall Down"
In a joint report, the U.S. Public Interest
Research Group and the Consumer Federation of America are urging government to improve playground safety.
It seems that children are hurting themselves at playgrounds....
It occurred to me that kids are always falling down or hitting something.....But we cannot provide enough padding
for every hard surface in the world or make everything set flat on the ground. Besides, what do you call a swing that just
lays there on the ground? Two ropes and board? Doesn't sound very exciting, even to me.
So, let's try another approach: Re-engineer the kids instead of trying to change all of the things that they come in contact with.
Make them roll with the punches, so to speak. As I editorialized on the article, my wife's memory put it all together. She said, "Like Weebles."
(Full article xxpdf)